I don’t know how much longer I can pretend that I’m ok.

I used the “way back machine” to check and see when the last time I actually wrote anything on my blog was and it was April 15, 2017. Almost eight years to the day. A lot has happened in the last eight years. I’ve wanted to “blog about it” but it always seems like there’s so much that I didn’t know where to start so I’d put it off. And time passed. Lots of time.

But I’m not in a good place now and I need an outlet in a big way. I don’t have anyone I feel like I can talk to, which is sad considering I am in a relationship. But I find myself feeling like I have to apologize just for trying to talk to him about things that matter to me or things that bother me. He makes it very obvious he doesn’t want to hear it.. which to be honest is making me feel more and more resentful every fucking day. Some days it’s harder than others to not lose my shit. I’ve been contemplating therapy again. It’s been a long, long time since I’ve done that.. but I guess I am not ready for it yet so here I am. Blabbing to the void. It’s better than nothing, I guess.

I don’t know where to start but this is as good a place as any.

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